Action figures and the things they do at night

Especially when you're not watching

Despite their size, small toys are not the sort of thing that slide down easy as part of any kind of morning cereal diet. Any. No matter how much custard they're dipped in, they just don't come out right the other end.

When the action figures start talking back outside the regular spool of tape lodged in their backs, it's probably time to hold further discussions with people outside.

One thing that cannot and should not be taken for granted is the fragility of boxes that contain certain model ranges. Holding up shelves and the left side of the television are tasks not in their system.

Despite their size, small toys are not the sort of thing that slide down easy as part of any kind of morning cereal diet. Any. No matter how much custard they're dipped in, they just don't come out right the other end.

With a microwave out of the question, taking a magnifying glass to the face of one of these people inside the action figure blisters will work just as well. Even cooler maybe.

Some people actually play with their action figures. Breaking the blister, scarring the packaging and even testing all points of articulation. That's their prerogative.

Every night, be sure to lock the cupboards and closets.

Action figures and sets expected to ship for this week

• Atom Ant Funko Force Action Figure
• Futurama Series 8 Action Figures
• Huck Hound Funko Force Action Figure
• Iron Man 2 war Machine Funko Force Action Figure
• Wally Gator Funko Force Action Figure

Bananas in one hand, cash and laundry in the other

Takes a loose minded entrepeneur to figure out that skinning a dog in a banana suit may add to the high price of a hand. Pity not the dog, in this case Brian Griffin from The Family Guy, a tool in the whole marketing scheme and scam.

Takes the discerning consumer to work out that a dog dressed in a banana suit helps no one in the long run. Not if the dog isn't playing all the cards that are involved in the game of dressing up fruity.


Such as knowing the limit at which the costume will work. After a certain period of time, it should be either taken out as a whole or left for the compost and hopefully the return back into the environment.

Another thing to note is the infuriating stickers that comes with the costume. Vital for those who are interested in knowing the wheres and whats. Less so for those who forget and throw it in the wash, only to end up with bits floating about not yet ready to let go.

Dressing up as a fruit is one thing. Knowing how to be the fruit is another thing entirely. 

Rocky horror lip locker

Put on a show and lick them lips, there's more to the gloss than sheer anticipation.

And so it may very well be the case, that the fleshy gates ahead of the teeth will greet many into the world of the tongue, the uvula and the oesophagus. They being food items and other such items of drink to pass through of course.

Be a generous and good looking host; keep the lips looking nice and clean like the carpet runners people walk across in order to find the back wall. Or just make do in the illusion of.

Lip balm and gloss - Flavour country never tasted so berrylicious. Or bananalicious. Or whateverlicious it happens to be at the counter. Thin layer of lip balm is good for the look of health and great tasting too.

Raging red lipstick - Throw in a dazzle as the curve of the colour blinds all unsuspecting of what ever cracked landscape may lie underneath. Taste varies wildly and more often than not, a bit tougher to stain away from the teeth.

Spit and saliva - Too cheap to buy gloss and too much of a non-lipsticker to apply the ruby? Constantly licking the lips, as in perhaps preparation for fried chicken, will suffice for most in keeping the kissers whistling moist. 

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Photos and images taken were current at time of press. Certain products and figures may already be sold as at time of reading.

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